Before there were chat rooms, people who wanted to meet new people, either on a friendship level or a dating relationship, did so in person. You could meet people at school, work, church, coffee shops or anywhere you might be out and about. There is something to be said for meeting someone in the real world. You can form an opinion based on appearance, body language and facial expressions. You can hear inflections in their voice which give you clues to their personality.
For example, if someone says Thanks for letting me know that in a chat room, you have no idea if emphasis is placed on any certain word. If the person is being sarcastic, they might emphasize the 'letting' or the 'that'. So, in an online relationship situation, you lose that advantage. Another point to be aware of is that the person in the chat room can formulate and edit their response before sending it, whereas in the face to face, such editing would be awkward.
Being aware of the differences between face to face and chat room encounters helps you to use more discretion and understand that what you see is not necessarily what you get. That said, here are five tips to help you further refine your online relationship skills.
1.Choose chat rooms where participants seem to have substantive conversations. If all the messages are one liners and people are flaming one another or making sexual remarks, it's unlikely you'll make any friends you'd want to meet.
2.Teens need to be especially careful. You probably don't have much dating experience, and lacking that face to face element, it's easy for someone to pose as someone they're not. In person, you're probably pretty good at sizing someone up. The online relationship venue doesn't provide this advantage. In any case, never divulge personal information with which someone could identify you or where you live. It's unwise to post photographs as well. Once posted, your pics can end up all over the net, to your detriment, virtually un-deletable.
3.Most communities have locally populated chat rooms. Look for ones in your town or city. (Google 'your-town chat rooms'.) This way, if you form an online relationship that looks interesting, you have an opportunity to meet that person face to face, in a safe, public place.
4.Don't be desperate! Some people make the mistake of putting on the rose colored glasses, quickly deciding that this individual is the person of their dreams. Take some time to get to know people, interacting with many rather than zeroing in on one exclusively. This gives you a better sense of all the people involved and decreases the chances of getting involved in a relationship you'll come to regret. Beware of people who exhibit characteristics such as jealousy, frequent anger or sarcasm. These people will be worse in person! Over time, you'll notice any lies and inconsistencies in an online relationship.
5.This brings us to the issue of predators. It's an unfortunate fact that there are plenty of them out there. There are older men who frequent teen chat rooms with the specific intent of getting you to trust them and then arranging to meet. There have also been cases of jealous girls and women, posing as boys in order to 'get back' at you for some imagined slight. If someone seems suspicious to you, talk to your Mom or Dad. Ask their opinion on remarks which you feel might be a bad sign.
Most of the successful teen online relationships that I've heard about are between people who met in a locally oriented chat room. Be safe and good luck.
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