Think that changing behavior is difficult? Well, yes and no it's all in the approach you take
When you were a child, your Mom and Dad gave you plenty of guidance on appropriate and inappropriate behavior, right? You doubtless quickly learned about tantrums being undesirable behavior, whacking your sister, failing to do your homework and all kinds of normal, but unacceptable child behaviors. How did you learn about changing behavior? Depending on your parent's preferred discipline system, you may have received a smack on the behind, a time-out or loss of privileges. In any case, consequences were always involved. Changing behavior in young kids can be challenging, requiring much repetition of the consequences, before the message sinks in.
However, as you grow out of adolescence and into adulthood, changing behaviors may become a little more tricky. Let's say you're a procrastinator. As a kid, you procrastinated on those homework assignments, simply because they weren't sufficiently interesting, or you'd rather watch TV or play video games. Before you knew it, it was bed time and the homework still wasn't done. Now, here you're in college, without Mom or Dad standing over your shoulder. You've carried your procrastinating habit right into college. Now what? You know that changing your procrastinating behavior is necessary if you are to succeed in school. The question is, how?
Most behavioral patterns exist sheerly out of habit. If you've formed the habit of brushing your teeth every morning and evening, skipping one of those brushings makes you feel like something's wrong. Oh, yeah, my teeth feel fuzzy... If you habitually enjoy a cup of hot chocolate before bedtime, it's unlikely you'll forget tonight. On the other hand, bad habits are equally hard to break. If you have a hot Irish temper and not much self-discipline, you're likely to lash out at someone every time your ire gets the better of you. If you're a smoker, you know it's a hard habit to break.
Changing behavior patterns isn't as insurmountable a task as you might think. While the severity and impact of a particular behavior may vary, the successful strategy has certain commonalities.
You first need to identify the behavior you want, or need, to change. This part is usually easy. The next step requires that you be motivated and determine what that motivating factor is. There might be several.
For example, let's take the case of the procrastinator. You're always late for classes, appointments and forget to pay your bills. You put off doing the laundry until you don't have a clean pair of socks. The consequences? Missed classes, poor grades, a reputation as a flake and increased APRs on credit cards and a bunch of late fees. You're invited to a party, but can't make it because you have no clean duds. So you can see that the consequences, just as when you were a child, are typically your motivating factors.
When all the consequences fall on you, it becomes apparent that you're responsible for effectively shooting yourself in the foot by not changing your behavior!
Here's how to approach changing behaviors which you don't like and which are hurting you. Make a list of the manifestations of the undesirable behavior, e.g. late for classes, et al. Now, list the consequences of your behavior. Make a copy or two. One for the frig, one on your bedside table and one to carry everywhere you go. Each time the Oh, I'll do that later... type of thought enters your mind, consult your list, grit your teeth and do it now! Before you know it, you'll be changing that behavior without a need to read the list. You'll be reaping the benefits no consequences, at least for that particular behavior. Almost every behavior pattern comes down to habit. Using this strategy makes changing behavior doable. People will notice. You'll feel better about yourself and probably, less stressed out. You can do it.
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