31.3.15
Battered Women - what you should know
7:19 PM
Look around you. Close to one in ten women are physically abused by their partner ever year. Is that one in ten you? Could it be your best friend? Your aunt? The girl you see every day in class? You may never know, but battered women are all around us every day. They undergo severe trauma, usually in silence. Given the prevalence of this problem it is important to understand the situation that many battered women find themselves in, before looking at the options for getting out.
First, you should know what it is to be a one of the battered women in America. Usually, the woman's abuser is someone she knows and is very close to. It could be a trusted friend, a boss, a father, or even a husband or boyfriend. It usually starts out as verbal abuse. The attacker belittles the woman, making her feel worthless, damaged, or reliant upon him. Battered women are usually so psychologically broken down by the time that the physical abuse starts that they make excuses for their attacker, especially because the first attack is so often characterized as an accident. The attacker will say that they didn't mean it, that they are sorry, and most notably, that it will never happen again. This is almost never the case. As soon as battered women tell their attackers that they are forgiven, it is interpreted as a carte blanch for future attacks. The attacker begins to believe that they will always be forgiven, no matter the damage.
The damage is often astounding. These battered women endure extreme psychological damage. They may have trust issues, lash out at those they care about, become easily frightened, or resort to self-inflicted injury as a means of escape. Moreover, they become very secretive about the abuse. It is a point of shame to them, and they don't want to broadcast it. When the abuse becomes physical, battered women are at high risk. They will not seek out medical attention in most situations for fear of their attacker being punished, and in turn, punishing them. Their injuries can become life threatening if left untreated in the most extreme situations, and in other circumstances, can cause them to miss work or lose their jobs. If they are severely hurt, and have a family, they may not be able to care for their chidren.
Fortunately, there are resources out there for battered women. To begin with, there are helplines for victims of domestic violence. The National Victims of Domestic Violence Hotline toll-free number is 800-799-7233, and is open 24 hours a day. Even if you are not ready to get out of the relationship, or aren't even sure you want help, the counselors at this number can give you the support you need. There are also battered women's shelters in nearly every community that can hold your hand through every step of the extrication process, from moving to temporary housing to attaining a restraining order, or even pressing charges. Most importantly, it is important that battered women know that they CAN talk to friends and family. If you know one of these battered women, make sure that you provide a safe shoulder to cry on or confide in if they so choose. You cannot help those who do not want to be helped, but you can always be available if they change their minds.