You get married thinking you have found the person that you are going to be with for the rest of your life. Though some persevere can work though things, some couples simply decide that it is in the best interests of everyone to move on and get a divorce. If this has happened to you, and even if you are the one that decided divorce is for the best, there are some things you are going to go through in regards to your failed marriage. Dont feel as if you are alone in your feelings, as some are very common with everyone going through this time in life.
A failed marriage is never easy. If you are the one that asked for a divorce, you are going to be in a different place than your spouse. Typically, one spouse has taken themselves out of the relationship and has started moving on long before the divorce is even mentioned. They are going to come out of the other side of the failed marriage in a different place, though they are still going to grieve what has happen. The surprised spouse is really going to be in a world of hurt, even when they think this is what is best also.
Those that experience a failed marriage feel like failures on their own. They feel that they should have been able to do something different to make the marriage work. They may have been betrayed by an affair, but still feel as if it is their fault. Therapy can help someone work through feelings like that if they persist. Many see a failed marriage as a personal failure, and that can be hard to get over, even as a few years have gone by and they have moved on to a new relationship. This is something that never really goes away - but that does not mean you can not learn how to deal with it in a positive manner.
Those that did not see the divorce coming are going to be hardest hit by what is happening. While the other spouse was pulling away, they may not have had any idea that their partner was hurting or wishing to be out of the marriage. For them, dealing with the failed marriage is going to be very hard, and they are going to try everything to save it. At times, this can be done, but not always. Prepare for this if you are the one that wanted the divorce. Understand where they are coming from and you can avoid a lot of resentment and hard feelings in the future. That is very important if you have children together.
Going through a failed marriage is never easy on anyone, even if it appears to you that your spouse is indifferent or moving on much sooner than you ever thought they could. Get help dealing with your feelings if you find that you simply can not find a reason for what happened and you can not move on without some type of closure or clarity about your failed marriage. Remember, not all marriages are going to last no matter what happens, but that does not mean you can not find another partner and take your lesson from your first marriage with you to ensure this does not happen to you again.
8:54 AM